Mood Swings

Mood Swings - who hasn't experienced them before. Mind you from my obversation, i noticed that guys go thru mood swings too. So they shouldn't always be blaming women becoz of their PMS time that they have mood swings. At least we have a reason, but what the guys' reason?

Anyways, the weather over here where I am staying right now has been rather bleak for the last couple of days. The sky is almost constantly dark for the past 2 days. Thats how i feel inside me too.... dark and cloudy. Yeah - you're rite I am having the mood swing. Anyways, it also happens to be the time when my "best friend" is visiting. But I think this mood swing is more than the PMS thingy.

During this time of the year, some people would be penning down their new year's resolution. As for me, I have been guilty of that too in the past. I remember one time, I went to PD with a good friend of mine ( well we dont' talk that much no more as she seemed very bz with what she is doing and has forgotten all her friends) and we sat and wrote about our new year's resolution. It was around year 2000. I still have the piece of paper mind you :) Of course some of the things I have done and crossed out like my white river rafting - but it ain't rafting though, it was kayaking that I did.

I am not going to write any new year resolution this year. As I see it, its going to be mundane anyways. Almost every year since I was 21, I have a couple of the same things listed. It turns out every year!!! Its getting stale. Or another way of putting it, I am just giving up on it.

Recently, I have been dreading the new year to arrive. Why! you might ask? This is becoz a new year means getting a year older. I will turn a year older from yesterday in 4 months. Every year i dread it. But this year i dread it the most. Its 4 mths away and I am already thinking about it.

I have very few years left before I hit the 35. When that happens I guess, i have to rethink about my goals in life. 35 would mean tht chances of having my own family is going down the drain. I dare not even hope these days.

So I am having a bad day - yes. I am feeling very blue - YES.

Even though I welcome the new year for a different reason. I welcome it to mark the ending of the worse year of my life. Hoping that the year 2005 would be much better but yet I dread it due to the aging factor that it brings.

One hope for this year is that I will be able to move out of my comfort zone and let the Lord lead me where He wants me to go. Lord, I am willing to give a try. Lead me to where I will find peace and joy.